We all have had moments in our life when we had to speak up about something to somebody, but when the thought of talking about it fulfilled us with fear. Fear for the other person, whom you may be afraid of hurting and deceiving, and that’s definitely the last thing you want to do. And fear for feeling guilty and being hurt yourself, as you may not even trust your own thoughts and intuition that make you consider having such a conversation in the first place.
I can think of many examples. Just think of what children need to tell their parents sometimes: a teenage girl who finds out she’s pregnant; a boy who wants to study arts in stead of law, as they had always hoped he would do; a girl who wants to go and work abroad, far away from them. Just think of the conversation an employee needs to have with his boss when he took the decision to resign. Just think of the conversation the woman must have, when she wants to divorce from her husband.
We have been or will all be faced with this kind of conversations at some point in our life. It’s human to avoid them, to postpone them, to wait for time to take away the need to speak up. In our thoughts, we may think about the best moment to start the conversation, and while we are tossing and turning in our bed desperately trying to fall asleep, we may even think of the exact words to use. But when that moment is finally there, that all won’t matter.
I have learnt that all that matters is to be honest, and to speak directly from the heart. As long as you can look the other person straight into the eyes, you have nothing to blame yourself for, and you will be safe and understood.
Sometimes, words seem to be a harmless weapon on the battlefield of emotions surrounding us. But now I came unarmed. I did not find the right words when I talked . I forgot to say whatever I had thought about before. But I know it does not matter. Words, logic and reasoning can come later; what comes first, is a silent honesty and sincere belief that it is the right thing to speak up.
I can think of many examples. Just think of what children need to tell their parents sometimes: a teenage girl who finds out she’s pregnant; a boy who wants to study arts in stead of law, as they had always hoped he would do; a girl who wants to go and work abroad, far away from them. Just think of the conversation an employee needs to have with his boss when he took the decision to resign. Just think of the conversation the woman must have, when she wants to divorce from her husband.
We have been or will all be faced with this kind of conversations at some point in our life. It’s human to avoid them, to postpone them, to wait for time to take away the need to speak up. In our thoughts, we may think about the best moment to start the conversation, and while we are tossing and turning in our bed desperately trying to fall asleep, we may even think of the exact words to use. But when that moment is finally there, that all won’t matter.
I have learnt that all that matters is to be honest, and to speak directly from the heart. As long as you can look the other person straight into the eyes, you have nothing to blame yourself for, and you will be safe and understood.
Sometimes, words seem to be a harmless weapon on the battlefield of emotions surrounding us. But now I came unarmed. I did not find the right words when I talked . I forgot to say whatever I had thought about before. But I know it does not matter. Words, logic and reasoning can come later; what comes first, is a silent honesty and sincere belief that it is the right thing to speak up.
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